This concept, most famously explored by Eric Berne in his work on transactional analysis, describes patterned social interactions that might appear straightforward on the surface but have hidden agendas and predictable negative outcomes. Think of them not as board games or video games, but rather as a specific type of interaction that people engage in, often without consciously realizing it. Berne defines a psychological game as an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions that progresses toward a well-defined, predictable outcome. These are recurring sets of transactions, often repetitious, that seem plausible outwardly but conceal underlying motivations. The key characteristic is their "ulterior quality" and a specific "payoff". Unlike simple transactions or activities, games are fundamentally dishonest. To understand psychological games, it helps to look at their structure. Every transaction, in Berne's model, has two parts: a stimulus and a response. Transactions in games happen on two levels simultaneously: the social level (what appears to be happening) and the psychological level (the hidden or ulterior message). It's the psychological level that holds the concealed motivation. A common formula for a game involves one person (A) sending an ostensible message (social level) along with a hidden message (psychological level). The second person (B) responds to this hidden message. Then, person A switches their "ego state" (a concept we can explore further, but for now, think of them as different states of mind or behavior patterns) and experiences a surprise bad feeling, which is the game's payoff. The concept of ego states is central to analyzing these games. Berne identified three main ego states: Parent, Adult, and Child. Transactions can occur between different ego states of the participants. In many games, the ulterior transaction involves different ego states than the social one. For example, a conversation might seem like two Adults talking, but psychologically, one person might be operating from a Parent ego state (giving instructions) and the other from a Child ego state (feeling inadequate). Another way to visualize the roles people play in these interactions is through the "Drama Triangle," which suggests participants often switch between the roles of Persecutor, Rescuer, and Victim. Someone might start by trying to help (Rescuer), end up feeling wronged (Victim), and then retaliate (Persecutor), with the other person also shifting roles. Games are often learned patterns, initiated early in childhood, perhaps even deliberately by young children. They become fixed ways of interacting, and their original purpose can become obscured over time. Beyond just structuring time, games can be necessary for maintaining a person's psychic stability, however fragile. Giving them up without a better alternative, like genuine intimacy, can be difficult and even lead to distress. Game analysis involves looking at various elements: - **Thesis:** A general description covering the immediate sequence and psychological background. - **Aim:** The basic purpose of the game. - **Roles:** The parts played by the participants, which may or may not align with their ego states. - **Dynamics:** The underlying psychodynamic forces driving the game. - **Examples:** Including childhood origins or prototypes. - **Advantages:** The various gains a player gets from the game (psychological, social, biological, existential). These can include avoiding feared situations, confirming a life position, obtaining psychological benefits, and getting recognized ("stroking"). - **Payoff:** The predictable outcome or feeling the participants end with. - **Antithesis:** The way to stop a game, usually by refusing to play or undercutting the payoff. This often exposes the underlying dynamics and can provoke a strong reaction from the player. Examples of games mentioned include: - **"If It Weren't For You" (IWFY):** A person uses another's restrictions as an excuse for not doing something they secretly fear doing anyway. The aim might be reassurance or vindication. - **"Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch" (NIGYSOB):** Often starts with one person giving an ostensible message while giving a hidden invitation for the other to make a mistake, then reacting with surprise and anger when the mistake is made. The payoff is righteous anger or justification for rage. - **"Why Don't You—Yes But" (YDYB):** One person presents a problem (often implicitly seeking solutions), and others offer suggestions ("Why Don't You...?"), to which the first person replies with a reason why it won't work ("Yes But..."). The psychological transaction is often Parent offering advice to Child, and Child rejecting it. - **"Rapo":** A game, often initiated by a woman, involving flirtation or seduction that ends in rejection, indignation, or even legal/criminal consequences. The aim is often to express hatred or project guilt and avoid emotional sexual intimacy. - **"Blemish":** Players seek out flaws in others to confirm a position that "They are no good," perhaps as a defense against feeling "I am no good". It helps avoid intimacy that might expose one's own perceived blemishes. These games are distinct from simple "operations" (transactions for a stated purpose), "rituals" (patterned interactions like greetings), or "pastimes" (semi-ritualistic conversations). While games often look like a series of operations, the ulterior motive and payoff reveal them as "maneuvers" instead. While many psychological games are considered "bad" or destructive, leading to difficulties, the concept of "good games" is also explored, where the social contribution outweighs the ulterior motivations. These games ideally contribute to the well-being of others and the growth of the player. Examples might include being consistently helpful with some ulterior motive, but doing so in a constructive way. It's worth noting that transactional game analysis is different from mathematical game analysis (game theory), which assumes completely rational players, whereas transactional games often involve un-rational or irrational behavior. Beyond Berne's specific framework, the idea of social interactions having hidden levels or serving ulterior purposes appears in other contexts. For instance, poker involves reading subtle cues to infer intent, drawing on past experience and "representational brain maps". Diplomatic or social interactions can involve understanding the other person's perspective and preferences, not just your own, which can be a basis for connection. Language itself can be seen as a series of "games" with shared rules that create relationships and power dynamics, where speaking is like playing, not always to win, but involving maneuvers. Even humor can be a form of social interaction, perhaps signaling the basis of a relationship isn't dominance. Ultimately, psychological games, in Berne's sense, highlight how human interactions can be complex, multi-layered, and driven by unconscious patterns and motivations that lead to predictable, often negative, outcomes, serving functions for the players despite their dysfunctional nature. Understanding these patterns is the first step in potentially changing them.