***Exchanging Self With Others*** This isn't just some abstract philosophical idea; it's a powerful spiritual practice that can truly transform our lives and unlock incredible potential within us. Think of it as a profound shift in perspective, like learning to see the world not just through your own eyes, but through the eyes of everyone around you. The core idea behind Exchanging Self with Others is moving away from our natural, ingrained tendency to prioritize ourselves above everyone else, and instead, learning to cherish others as supremely important. It's a central practice on the Mahayana path, aiming for the ultimate goal of full enlightenment for the benefit of all living beings. You see, for ordinary folks like us, there's this deeply rooted feeling that "I am important". This feeling, called self-cherishing, is almost always running in the background of our minds. It makes us think our own happiness, our own wishes, and our own feelings matter more than anyone else's. It's why criticism stings us deeply, but we might not even notice when a stranger is criticized. It's why our own pain feels like the most important thing in the world to stop, while we might be more patient when someone else is hurting. This self-cherishing isn't just a minor annoyance; according to the sources, it's actually the source of all our suffering and problems, in this life and future ones. It's like a terrible poison. The reason for this is that self-cherishing stems from a deeper misunderstanding – the ignorance that grasps onto a "truly existent I," a solid, independent self that doesn't actually exist. Because we grasp at this non-existent 'I' as supremely important, we develop attachment to things that seem attractive, aversion to things that seem unattractive, and indifference to others, leading to negative actions and suffering. The sources emphasize that every problem, misfortune, and painful experience we encounter can be traced back to this self-cherishing mind. All the disharmony, quarreling, and fighting we see in the world comes from the self-cherishing of the people involved. When we're unhappy because our wishes aren't met, it's our self-cherishing mind that feels "My wishes are of paramount importance". Even seemingly good things, like wealth, can cause worry and problems if we are strongly attached to them because of self-cherishing. Letting go of this obsessive concern for ourselves is key to finding peace. For those aiming for enlightenment, self-cherishing is considered the worst fault because it blocks the development of cherishing others, great compassion, and ultimately, bodhichitta – the mind dedicated to achieving enlightenment for the sake of all beings. Now, here's where Exchanging Self with Others comes in as a brilliant solution! Instead of cherishing ourselves, we learn to cherish others. The path to enlightenment is said to be simple: stop cherishing yourself and learn to cherish others. All other spiritual realizations naturally follow from this. Cherishing others is presented as the best method for solving our own problems _and_ the problems of others. When we cherish others, there's no basis for jealousy, anger, or other harmful thoughts, and our mind stays peaceful. We naturally act with loving kindness, and others tend to return that kindness, leading to more stable and satisfying relationships. It protects us from problems caused by attachment, like loneliness or upset when relationships change, because our focus is on their happiness, not just what they can do for us. Cherishing others is seen as the supreme protection from suffering. So, how do we learn to cherish others? The sources give two main reasons: 1. **Their immense kindness:** Everything we have, enjoy, and even our ability to develop spiritually comes from the kindness of others. We didn't get things for free; others employed us, bought our goods, taught us, and provided the resources we needed. We are all interconnected in a web of kindness, and the idea that we are independent islands is unrealistic. Contemplating how others help us leads to the determination: "I must cherish all living beings because they are so kind to me". 2. **The enormous benefits:** As we discussed, cherishing others brings happiness, peace, and protects us from problems. It allows us to accumulate merit, which is essential for success. It transforms our actions into pure and beneficial ones, making us a source of happiness and inspiration. It's the foundation for great compassion and ultimately leads us to Buddhahood. It's like a magic crystal that purifies negativity and gives back love and kindness. A key part of cherishing others as supreme is recognizing their preciousness, even viewing them as more important than ourselves. Why? Because without sentient beings, we couldn't gather the spiritual realizations needed to attain enlightenment. They are the objects of patience, compassion, and other practices essential for the path. In this way, sentient beings are seen as equally precious as Buddhas because enlightenment arises in dependence upon them. But what about their faults? We might think, "How can I cherish someone who is full of attachment, anger, and ignorance?". This is where a profound distinction comes in. The sources explain that the faults we see in people are the faults of their _delusions_, not the people themselves. Buddhas see the faults of delusions but never see people as faulty because they differentiate between the person and their inner enemies, their delusions. Blaming a person for their delusions is like blaming a victim for the actions of their attacker, or blaming a friend for suffering from an illness. Delusions are temporary conditions, like waves on the ocean, not the fundamental nature of the mind. Recognizing this helps us not to focus on others' faults, which only increases our negativity and self-cherishing, but instead to see all beings as supreme and relate to their pure Buddha nature. So, how do we actually train our minds to make this radical shift from cherishing self to cherishing others? 1. **Recognizing and Averting Self-Cherishing:** Langri Tangpa advises examining our mental continuum throughout all actions to catch self-cherishing the moment it arises. Just as we'd watch out for external dangers, we need to constantly watch our mind for this inner enemy. Catching it early makes it easier to stop. 2. **Blaming Self-Cherishing:** A powerful technique is to blame self-cherishing for all our problems and suffering. Instead of blaming others when things go wrong, we turn the blame towards this internal "demon". This is skillful, wise anger, not the deluded kind, because it aims to purify our mind. It requires distinguishing between blaming self-cherishing and blaming ourself. 3. **Contemplating Faults and Benefits:** Meditate deeply on the many disadvantages of self-cherishing and the vast benefits of cherishing others. The more we understand these points, the stronger our determination becomes to abandon self-cherishing. 4. **Developing Humility:** Training involves viewing ourselves as lower or less precious than others. This isn't about self-deprecation, but a strategic way to accumulate merit, conserve merit, and weaken self-cherishing. It encourages us to respect everyone, recognizing we can't know for sure who might be a highly realized being or even an emanation of a Buddha. This practice doesn't mean neglecting our well-being, but taking care of ourselves with the motivation of being able to benefit others, seeing our body as a tool for helping others. 5. **Meditating on the Shift:** Meditate on the determination to give up cherishing yourself and cherish only others, believing deeply that their happiness and freedom are far more important than your own. Shantideva suggests imagining exchanging places with another person, particularly someone difficult, and seeing the world from their point of view. This builds empathy and helps us understand the relativity of "self" and "other". 6. **Starting Gradually:** Since self-cherishing is a deeply ingrained habit, we can't eliminate it overnight. The sources suggest starting by training to cherish those in our immediate circle – family and friends – and then gradually extending this feeling to more and more beings until it embraces everyone. Cherishing specific individuals helps make the practice grounded and sincere, not just an abstract idea. 7. **Transforming Adverse Conditions:** Difficult interactions, like someone we helped harming us, can be transformed into spiritual opportunities. We can see them as teachers showing us the law of karma, the faults of samsara, or testing our patience. By applying these skillful ways of thinking, we turn perceived obstacles into fuel for our practice. Accepting difficulties and harm from others patiently is vital. 8. **Taking and Giving:** This is a special practice that directly enhances cherishing love and compassion, built upon the foundation of overcoming self-cherishing and accepting suffering patiently. In meditation, we imagine taking on the suffering, delusions, and non-virtues of all living beings (taking) and giving them our happiness, virtues, and potential for enlightenment (giving). We can practice taking on our own future suffering first to purify karma and reduce self-cherishing. We can imagine taking on general suffering or focusing on specific groups (like those suffering from sickness). The giving meditation involves radiating light that fulfills others' needs and wishes, culminating in the pure happiness of enlightenment. While initially just imagination, this training is believed to ripen our potential to actually benefit beings directly through the power of mind. This can also be mounted onto the breath, inhaling suffering/black smoke and exhaling happiness/wisdom light. Besides meditation, we can also practice taking and giving in practical ways by helping others, accepting hardship for their sake, and dedicating merit. This practice is considered profound and powerful, requiring deep faith and effort, often guided by someone with personal experience of these teachings. Exchanging self with others isn't about literally becoming someone else; it's about changing the _object_ of our cherishing. Just as the object of our self-cherishing changes throughout life (from child self to adult self), we can train our mind to shift that cherishing to others. It also helps to realize that our body, which we strongly identify with and cherish, isn't truly ours but comes from others and will be disposed of by others. Recognizing the relativity of "self" and "other" also supports this practice. Ultimately, training in Exchanging Self with Others helps us overcome the self-cherishing that prevents us from truly helping others. When our desire to help is mixed with selfish concerns, our efforts are impure and limited. By training the mind, our intention becomes pure, and we develop the capacity to genuinely benefit all beings. Transforming our daily activities with this motivation makes our whole life a spiritual practice and supports our meditation. This journey isn't easy and takes time and patience, but the potential for transformation is immense. It's a fundamental practice that leads to the development of bodhichitta, the "good heart" that is the essence of the Mahayana path and the root of all enlightened qualities. **So, what other ideas or questions does this bring up for you to explore?** - How can we really distinguish between genuinely caring for ourselves (like staying healthy to help others) and sneaky self-cherishing (like exercising just to look good or feel superior)? - The idea of blaming self-cherishing instead of others is quite counter-intuitive for many. How can we practically implement this mindset shift in heated moments? - If everyone is potentially an emanation of a Buddha, does that mean we should treat everyone, even challenging people, with absolute reverence? How does that balance with protecting ourselves from harm (as discussed in)? - How does the meditation on emptiness, understanding the lack of inherent existence of self and others, support the practice of exchanging self with others? - How do we cultivate the deep faith and receive the powerful blessings needed for such a profound transformation, as mentioned in? **The Heart of the Matter: What is Cherishing Others?** At its core, cherishing others is about developing a sincere attitude that regards all living beings as supremely important and precious. It's a mind that values the happiness and welfare of others, making their needs and wishes a priority, perhaps even more important than our own. Think of it as learning to see the world not through the narrow lens of "me and mine," but through the expansive view of "us" – embracing everyone in our circle of care. Why is this so significant? Well, the sources tell us it's actually the very first step towards that sublime happiness of enlightenment. It's the foundation upon which compassion can truly grow, and compassion, as we learn, is the root of bodhichitta, the mind seeking enlightenment for the benefit of all. It's like planting a seed in fertile ground – cherishing others is the rich soil that allows these incredibly valuable spiritual qualities to flourish. **The Problem: Our Built-in Self-Cherishing** Now, this doesn't always come naturally, does it? We have a deeply ingrained habit of cherishing ourselves, viewing our own self, our "I," as being incredibly important, perhaps even supremely so. This intense focus on ourselves stems from a fundamental feeling that our "I" is real and exists independently of everything else. Since beginningless time, we've been slaves to this self-cherishing mind, trusting it implicitly and obeying its every command, believing that putting ourselves first is the way to solve problems and find happiness. But let's take a look at the results of this approach. Have we really found lasting happiness? Have all our problems disappeared? The sources suggest no. In fact, this deep-seated self-cherishing is highlighted as the root of all our problems and suffering. It leads to harmful minds like attachment, anger, and indifference. Because we exaggerate our own importance, we feel our interests clash with others', giving rise to competitiveness, jealousy, arrogance, and a lack of consideration. These feelings then drive us to engage in destructive behaviors that cause suffering for ourselves and others. Think about the disharmony and conflict we see – in our personal relationships, communities, and even globally. The sources point out that all of it, from quarreling to war, crime, and environmental damage, can be traced back to self-cherishing. When our wishes aren't met, or we feel criticized, our self-cherishing makes us upset and depressed. It even makes us stupid in a way, preventing us from finding real happiness despite our intelligence. It binds us to the cycle of suffering, samsara, and blocks our path to liberation and enlightenment. This "demon" of self-cherishing is our worst enemy and a terrible poison. **The Solution: The Immense Benefits of Cherishing Others** Okay, so self-cherishing is clearly not working for us. What's the alternative? Switching our focus! The path to enlightenment is really very simple: stop cherishing ourselves and learn to cherish others. When we shift our view to see others as more important, amazing things start to happen. The benefits of cherishing others are enormous and touch every aspect of our lives: 1. **Solving Problems and Finding Peace:** Cherishing others is presented as the best method to solve our own problems. If we cherish everyone we meet, there's no basis for jealousy, anger, or other harmful thoughts. Our mind can be at peace all the time. It protects us from the problems caused by attachment and prevents conflict. It's described as the supreme protection from suffering and enables us to remain calm and peaceful even in challenging situations. 2. **Improving Relationships:** When we genuinely cherish others and act with kindness and consideration, they naturally return that kindness. People will like us, and our relationships become more stable and satisfying. 3. **Accumulating Merit:** Cherishing others naturally leads us to perform virtuous and helpful actions. Merit is like positive energy, and accumulating it is essential for spiritual growth, helping the "seeds" of realization grow. It's the main cause of success in all our activities. 4. **Becoming a Source of Happiness:** As our mind becomes filled with cherishing love, our actions become pure and beneficial, making us a source of happiness and inspiration for others. This mind of love is called the "real wish-granting jewel" because it fulfills the wishes of both ourselves and others. 5. **Protecting from Suffering:** By cherishing others, we stop engaging in destructive actions motivated by selfishness. This prevents us from creating negative karma, which is the cause of future suffering, thus protecting us from experiencing those unpleasant effects. 6. **The Path to Enlightenment:** This precious mind of cherishing others is described as the supreme good heart. It's the essence of the Mahayana path and the main cause of great compassion. As we improve our compassion, it leads us directly towards Buddhahood. It's the foundation that allows all other spiritual realizations to follow naturally. **How to Train Our Mind to Cherish Others** So, how do we actually do this? It's a process of training our mind patiently and consistently. It's not something that happens overnight, but through understanding _why_ we should cherish others and making a firm decision to do so. Here are some key practices mentioned: 1. **Contemplating the Kindness of Others:** This is a powerful reason to cherish others. We should reflect on the countless ways others have helped us, from the obvious kindness of our parents who gave us our body and cared for us when we were helpless, to the less obvious ways we benefit from the kindness of others daily (the food we eat, the clothes we wear, the opportunities we have). By contemplating this, we make a firm decision: "I must cherish all living beings because they are so kind to me". 2. **Recognizing Their Supreme Importance:** Living beings are incredibly precious because they are the objects upon which we can develop the spiritual qualities like love, compassion, and patience that lead to enlightenment. Without others, how could we learn to love, practice giving, or develop patience? They help us gather this "inner wealth" of spiritual realizations, which is the only thing we can take with us after death. In this sense, they are even more precious than wish-granting jewels. Buddhas and sentient beings are equally precious – Buddhas for showing the path, and sentient beings for providing the means to develop compassion and reach our goal. 3. **Viewing Others as Supreme and Ourselves as Lower:** Bodhisattva Langri Tangpa encourages us to see ourselves as the lowest of all and cherish others as supreme. This is not about having low self-esteem in a negative way. Instead, it's about developing humility and counteracting our deeply ingrained self-cherishing. When we view ourselves as less precious than others, our self-cherishing weakens, and our love for others increases. This view is based on wisdom and leads to our final goal, unlike the self-important view based on ignorance. 4. **Focusing on Good Qualities, Not Faults:** A major obstacle to cherishing others is our tendency to focus on their faults while ignoring their good qualities. We can become skilled at this, listing, analyzing, and even dwelling on what we see as their imperfections. But this only leads to distorted views, arrogance, disrespect, anger, and resentment. Instead, we should train ourselves to focus on the good qualities of others. This reduces our pride, increases our love and compassion, and leads to virtuous actions. As Atisha advises, don't look for faults in others, but look for faults in yourself and purify them. 5. **Distinguishing the Person from Their Delusions:** This is a profound point! When we see people behaving in harmful or deluded ways, it's easy to think of them as inherently bad or faulty. But the sources explain that the faults we see are actually the faults of their delusions – their anger, attachment, ignorance – not the person themselves. Delusions are temporary characteristics of the mind, like waves on an ocean, not its real nature. Buddhas see the faults of delusions but never see a single fault in any sentient being because they make this distinction. Just as we wouldn't blame someone for a physical disease like cancer, we shouldn't blame them for the diseases of their mind, their delusions. When people harm others, they are controlled by delusions, acting in ways contrary to their true nature, their Buddha nature. Recognizing this helps us feel compassion instead of blame. We should focus on the "gold" of their Buddha nature rather than the "dirt" of their delusions. 6. **Starting with Those Closest to Us:** While the goal is to cherish all living beings, it's important to start by sincerely cherishing those in our immediate circle – family, friends, and the people in our community. If we neglect cherishing the specific individuals we interact with, our cherishing of others in general can remain abstract and inauthentic. By making a concerted effort to love our immediate circle, even when it's difficult, we erode our self-cherishing and build a solid foundation. From this foundation, we can gradually extend our love to embrace more and more sentient beings. 7. **Transforming Adverse Conditions:** What about when people are difficult or even harm us? This is a crucial test of our cherishing love. Instead of letting our love diminish, we can use these experiences to strengthen our practice. We can train ourselves to see those who harm us as our holy Spiritual Guides. How? By recognizing that their actions might be the ripening of our own past negative karma. They are teaching us about karma, encouraging us to purify our negativity, and inspiring us to practice more strongly. Viewing them as Teachers helps us transform the harm into a spiritual path. **Deeper Practice: Exchanging Self with Others** Building on the practice of equalizing self and others (seeing our own happiness and others' happiness as equally important), there is the profound practice of "exchanging self with others". This doesn't mean literally becoming another person, but exchanging the _object_ of our cherishing from ourselves to others. We shift our focus entirely to the well-being of others, feeling that their needs and wishes are of supreme importance. This practice is a direct method for abandoning self-cherishing. By contemplating the faults of self-cherishing and the immense benefits of cherishing others, we develop a strong determination to make this exchange. We watch our mind constantly, and the moment self-cherishing arises, we firmly face it and avert it, blaming it for all our problems. We can use our own suffering as a reminder of the suffering of others, developing compassion for them instead of feeling sorry for ourselves. The practice of "taking" (taking on others' suffering) and "giving" (giving our happiness to others) is a supreme method within exchanging self with others that helps strengthen our love and compassion and weaken self-cherishing. This profound realization, where we spontaneously believe that the happiness and freedom of each and every other living being are far more important than our own, is called "exchanging self with others". It's a practice that requires deep faith, merit, and blessings, but it's incredibly powerful, leading to a level of bodhichitta more profound than other methods. **The Culmination: Cherishing Others Leads to Bodhichitta** All these practices – learning to cherish others, developing compassion, training in taking and giving – have a main purpose: to generate a special realization of bodhichitta. Bodhichitta is defined as a mind, motivated by great compassion, that spontaneously seeks enlightenment for the direct benefit of every single living being. Great compassion is the necessary seed for bodhichitta, and cherishing love is the fertile ground for that seed. Why seek enlightenment just for others? Because only a Buddha has the complete power, wisdom, and skill to truly help all living beings perfectly, in accordance with their individual needs. We may have the sincere wish now, but we lack the full capacity. Attaining Buddhahood is the means to fulfill our real wish, which is to bestow happiness upon all living beings. Developing bodhichitta is the supreme Dharma realization. It perfects our virtues, solves our problems, fulfills our wishes, and gives us the power to benefit others. It's the best friend and highest quality we can develop. It makes all our actions incredibly meaningful, turning even ordinary activities into powerful spiritual practices. With this altruistic intention, we accumulate vast merit, which helps fulfill our wishes and increases our capacity to help others. **In Summary** Cherishing others is presented as the essential first step and continuous practice on the path to ultimate happiness and enlightenment. It means intentionally cultivating a mind that sees the immense value and importance of every single living being. This is the direct opposite of our usual self-cherishing attitude, which is identified as the source of all our problems and suffering. By understanding the faults of self-cherishing and the immense benefits of cherishing others, we can begin to train our minds. This involves contemplating the kindness of others, recognizing their preciousness as objects for our spiritual growth, developing humility, focusing on their good qualities, and distinguishing them from their temporary delusions. Deeper practices like equalizing self and others and exchanging self with others help us to weaken self-cherishing and strengthen our cherishing love. This cultivated love is the basis for compassion and ultimately the precious mind of bodhichitta, the aspiration for enlightenment for the benefit of all, which is the culmination of this path. **Thinking Further...** This journey of training the mind seems incredibly transformative, doesn't it? It makes you wonder: - How deeply ingrained is this self-cherishing in our daily lives? What are some subtle ways it might be influencing our thoughts and actions without us even realizing it? - If we sincerely practice cherishing others, how might this fundamentally change the way societies function? - The sources mention viewing difficult people as Spiritual Guides. How can we practically apply this in moments of frustration or conflict? - What are the best ways to maintain this attitude of cherishing others throughout a busy and sometimes challenging day, when it's easy to get caught up in our own concerns? - Considering that even Hinayana Foe Destroyers still have a subtle form of self-cherishing, how challenging is it truly to abandon it completely? Exploring these ideas and applying the teachings step-by-step seems like a truly worthwhile endeavor, promising a profound shift from a life often marked by dissatisfaction to one filled with peace, happiness, and the greatest capacity to benefit others.